In 1967, a Mike Nichols film “The Graduate” summed up the future for the new college graduate played by Dustin Hoffman with a single word:  “plastics.”  To review the scene, go to:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSxihhBzCjk .

If produced today – given the regular news reports of whales ingesting large amounts of plastic ‒ the phrase would be: “no plastics.”

Item 1: The European Union and Canada are banning “single use” plastic in the next few years.  What is “single use?”  Well, as it turns out, it’s just about everything that is made of plastic.  More on that later.

Item 2:  New York State recently enacted a five cent levy on plastic bags.  Maryland has now banned Styrofoam so the containers for carry-out food at restaurants and the drinks at Maryland Dunkin’ Donuts will now be made of paper. 

Item 3:  A Baltimore City Councilman has just proposed a ban on plastic bags and a five cent levy on paper bags. 

Item 4:  On June 12^th the New York Times reported that a grocery store in Vancouver, British Columbia was using plastic bags with embarrassing lettering such as: “Into the Weird Adult Video Emporium; the Colon Care Co-Op and Dr. Toews’ Wart Ointment.”  The notion was that shoppers would be embarrassed to walk out of the store with such bags.  However, this appears to have backfired as shoppers demanded more of these bags.

What has changed in the last 50 years?  All of these efforts are an attempt to “save the environment.”  To be eco-friendly, one has to swear off plastics.

Now how did all this plastic come to be?  And is it really that important?  Well, look around your house.  Peer into your refrigerator and pantry and count the plastic containers and you will easily get to 10 in each.  Go to the bathroom where, egads, plastic rules:  shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, liquid soap, floss containers, toothpaste tubes, deodorant and multi-vitamin “bottles” and your electric toothbrushes. 

In our house, it doesn’t stop there as the new windows are plastic clad and the ceiling of the wraparound porch is made of plastic material as are the railings.  And no decent plumber would be able to do the job without PVC pipe; nor would any automobile manufacturer be able to achieve miles per gallon goals without the substitution of plastic for former steel components.

Why is plastic everywhere?  The answer is simple enough: it is in many respects a superior material, economical to produce and a better and more efficient alternative than what went before.  And, to boot, the “carbon footprint” to produce plastic is considerably more eco-friendly than, for instance, steel or galvanized pipe.

But plastic does have a downside.  While most plastics can be “recycled,” some are more difficult than others and plastic is not “biodegradable” in the way that other materials are such as wood (although I bet that steel and galvanized pipe don’t exactly collapse).  And then, of course, there is the plastic bag in the tree visible to all who are standing on the paper bag while looking up.

What happens to these plastic and paper bags?  In my house, the plastic bags are sometimes reused but usually end up in the trash.  Paper bags are sometimes used as trash liners and either end up in the trash or in a recycling bin.  In many cases, both plastic and paper are carried to the landfill.  

So, in the words of a political phrase from a generation or two ago:  “Where’s the beef?”  Well, the anti-plastic person says:  “But plastic does not biodegrade like paper.”  The pro plastics person responds: “Who cares, both are in the landfill which, in due course, will become a park or a green space or a golf course.”

The switch away from plastic to different materials is costly and produces alternatives that are not nearly as effective as the plastic they replace.  The shiny bright legislators who proposed the Maryland Styrofoam ban were quite eager to say that Maryland was “first” to ban Styrofoam.  Never mind (1) that the principal product of a Maryland company employing 700 people (in high unemployment areas) was the manufacture of Styrofoam or (2) that they had become the stalking horses for the lobbyists for the paper industry who were enthusiastically applauding nearby.

There is some irony in all of this.  The Plastics Crisis Alliance recently announced in Facebook ads that cigarette butts are the most prevalent non-biodegradable items found in the ocean which – if that is the case ‒ may call for a name change for that group.

Now what about so called “single use” plastic?  A group called the Plastic Free Challenge on its website says “Single use plastics, or disposable plastics, are used only once before they are thrown away or recycled.  These items are things like plastic bags, straws, coffee stirrers, soda and water bottles and most food packaging.”

Think about the term “most food packaging” in this definition when you amble around your local grocery store to see what’s affected.  Obviously, the meat and seafood section would have to be redone as would the vegetable aisle, the bread aisle, the soda and water aisle, the dairy, ice cream and orange juice coolers, any product with a see-through window as well as anything in a plastic container.  One effect of a “single use” ban:  glass back in business.

Why ban just Styrofoam when you can get everything with the term “single use” plastic?  Groups like the Plastic Free Challenge maintain that plastics are responsible for human cancers, infertility and other diseases.  Even allowing for hyperbole, color me unconvinced.

The current political campaign against single use plastics is wrong headed.  An H. L. Mencken quote seems apropos:  “For every complex problem, there is an answer that is simple, direct and wrong.” 

Can we live without plastic?  Obviously we can as it did not become a staple of our lives until recently.  We also can live without automobiles and electricity but the question is – should we?  If we ditch cars and return to horses, you can bet that some group will begin complaining about methane emissions from the droppings of millions of horses.

So what to do?  Here is a modest three point proposal:

1. Use plastic wherever it is a superior alternative and increase our plastic recycling efforts.  Indeed, even the hated Styrofoam can be recycled;

• Encourage landfills since these are the places where almost all our “stuff” ends up and, even here, according to the Environmental Protection Agency, there is a decided environmental benefit to be gained.  https://www.epa.gov/lmop/basic-information-about-landfill-gas;

• Call Vancouver for your bags since humor is the necessary antidote to all the doom and gloom.

This post was originally written in October 1967, a few days after my grandfather died.  It appeared in the Notre Dame student newspaper, The Observer.

The only word for the old man was “amazing.”  A product of the fish markets of Baltimore, he had voted for Al Smith in ’28, Roosevelt in ’32, and supported Joe McCarthy in ’54.  He had taken his wife and six kids through the Depression in good style and yet was unable to figure out his income tax.  He loved the Orioles, despaired with the Senators, and carried on a love affair with Lord Calvert whiskey for the last 30 years.  We had always called him Pop.

Pop finished third grade and then his education started.  When asked what he did, Pop would say he was a “nipulator” – his fractured version of “manipulator” – meaning that he did whatever he had to do to make a living. 

There is often a tryst that develops between grandfather and eldest grandson.  Sometimes they share the same cigarettes and the same liquor by the time that grandson reaches the age of 17.  That’s the way it was between Pop and me.  For the last three years we had always puffed and sipped in the bedroom discreetly out of sight of all relatives.  Off and on at every Christmas and Easter we had been secret companions.  Pop had brought the Lord Calvert and I contributed the forbidden Winstons. 

I suppose that the head of every dynasty is toasted and feted for his wisdom and love.  Pop was like this too but there was something different.  I think everyone believed that there was something a bit satanic about the old guy and perhaps that’s what made him so human and so good.

Pop had loved the good Catholic from New York in ’28 and had probably voted for him five times.  But Smith lost and forgot to take Pop with him.  Pop lived in Washington and Mr. Hoover was now in the Capital City and Mr. Hoover’s friends were coming to see his inauguration.  Come March and the old man was in the taxi service for the grand swear in.  Mr. Hoover’s friends streamed into Union Station and Pop was ready and willing.  “To the Willard, you despicable cur” and to the Willard they went, sort of.  The grand old hotel of the cosmopolitans sat on one side of Pennsylvania Avenue.  Pop would let one of his charges out on the other side, bid them a fond farewell, take their Republican money, and utter a salutation to the President elect.  All that they had to do was pick up their valises and trot across the street.

That act is a virtual impossibility when the new man comes to town; to cross Penn Ave. takes the guts of a Kamikaze, the strength of a work horse, and the daring of a Tennessee rum runner.  The old man would look at them with a twinkle in his eye and wish them a hasty death as he sped back to Union Station.

After Mother died less than a year ago Pop had gone downhill.  He had to be put in a home and everyone was about to give up his spirit.  But Pop still had a lot of fight in him.  He demanded release.  My own father, worried after a 3 a.m. phone call, had gone to rescue him.  He found the wily old codger at the front door with his suitcase, attired in his pin stripe suit with that impeccable diamond stick pin.  As he walked toward him the old man had fainted into his arms, frantically murmuring that he had to leave.  Halfway home Pop had sat up, lit a Winston, and inquired whether he was a good actor.  That’s just the way he was.

A couple of days ago Pop was rushed to the hospital.  They thought he was dead in the afternoon but by 6 p.m. he was up and at them.  He was ready to leave.  At 9:25 the next morning Pop was dead, victim of a massive coronary attack.  Over the weekend the old man was laid out and buried from his parish church in the Southwest section of the city that he had known, loved and “nipulated.”  Pop had gone to other people and other places.

This quote is from the revolutionary, “Dick the Butcher” in Shakespeare’s Henry VI.   Apologists for lawyers insist that Dick disliked lawyers because they insured the rule of law which Dick wanted to abolish.  Most commentators say that Dick thought that lawyers insured the triumph of the rich over the poor. 

Current opinions about lawyers have not changed much.  Google the term “lawyer jokes” and you will get many including the following: 

Q:  What do you call 25 lawyers buried up to their chins in cement?

A:  Not enough cement. 

Some lawyers do truly admirable work such as freeing the innocent from wrongful imprisonment.  Most lawyers are like white collar plumbers in that they keep all sorts of legal matters flowing properly.  Then there are the “TV lawyers”, aka, ambulance chasers.  Many of them are members of the American Association for Justice (formerly known as the American Trial Lawyers Association).  I am sure that many of you, like me, immediately think of the word “justice” each time you see one of these lawyers making their televised pitch!

There are often complaints about fees charged.  Tone deaf lawyers, in turn, complain about their plumber’s rates because of the lack of formal schooling, ungrateful that the toilet now works.

Any reader of a national publication regularly sees “Legal Notices” such as appeared in a February 2019 issue of Time magazine.  That notice provided:  “If you purchased Asahi-brand beer between April 5, 2013 and December 20, 2018, you could be eligible for a payment from a class action settlement.” 

The gist of this lawsuit is that the beer in question was advertised as being brewed in Japan when, in fact, some of the beer was brewed in Canada.

If you purchased the Canadian brewed beer, you are entitled to up to $10 per household.  In order to make a claim, you must file a claim form by May 3, 2019.  Actual payment will be based on the type and quantity of the Asahi beer purchased ($0.10 per big bottle, $0.50 per six pack, $1.00 per 12 pack and $2.00 per 24 pack). 

And how does one “prove” the purchase of Ashai beer from Canada in the last five years?  And assuming one could prove the purchase, your total reward would be no more than $10.

So you ask ‒ what kind of nonsense is this?  The defrauded “beer drinker” may receive up to $10 but the attorneys who brought this lawsuit are asking for fees and expenses of $765,000.  Moreover the Settlement Administrator who will sort through the claims will receive up to $300,000 in fees and expenses.  Could it be that the lawyers and the Settlement Administrator have been through this exercise before? 

Did the Canadian beer taste better or worse and really does it matter at all?  Chuck Thompson, the now deceased radio voice of the Baltimore Orioles, used to say after each victory “Ain’t the beer cold!”  The real question here is not whether the Canadian beer was “cold” but why a court is entertaining such claims and rewarding the lawyers bringing them.

If you are an Asahi beer drinker, time to order more cement.

It is said that a “stopped clock” is correct twice a day which means that it is correct for two seconds out of 86,400 seconds.  Nevertheless, it is correct for these two seconds.

Trump is a serial liar and speaks to our “worst angels” and not to the “better angels” called forth by Abraham Lincoln.  Nevertheless, he is correct on one thing:  China.

So, why correct on China?  One law enacted in the 1970s was a requirement that goods sold in the United States should bear the country of origin.  The notion was that American consumers would prefer “Made in the USA” goods.  As it turned out, American retailers and consumers deserted American goods for the cheaper variety.

One of the first industries to lose jobs to foreign competition was the apparel industry.  The loss started in the 1970s and is now almost totally in place.

The result:  I am writing this clothed in a tailored shirt made in China, an expensive sweater also made in China, jeans made in Mexico, socks made outside the United States and even my Fruit of the Loom underwear was not “Made in the USA.” 

And if you think that the “China” problem is limited to apparel, check the next time that you buy an alarm clock, a vacuum cleaner, a hose, picture frames or household items.  What I call the “China” problem really is about the production of almost all “stuff” used by Americans outside the United States.

President Xi Jinping is intent on making China the world’s leader.  As Trump withdraws to Fortress America, Xi reaches out to the world.  His biggest effort is the “Belt And Road Initiative” which is an extensive transportation (air, rail, road, sea) infrastructure linking China to Asia, Africa and Europe.  It is the fabled “Silk Road” on mega doses of steroids.  Xi has the advantage of a “command economy” where he is the commander; at the same time commands can be wrong and Xi is not infallible and may well overreach.  Remember the China “one child” policy which totally misfired so that now there are very few to support the very many retirees.  China’s current “Social Security” system is so bad it makes ours appear to be over-funded even though ours will see deep benefit reductions by 2034 if there are not significant changes.

Trump’s main “talking point” is the persistent trade imbalance between China and the United States.  As the “bull in the china shop,” he will produce nominal results but China is in for the “long game” and knows that Trump is gone in a few years.  Xi has already indicated that he will purchase over $1 trillion of American goods in the next three years to remedy the trade surplus imbalance. 

Trump “tweets” this a “GREAT” win and it is an improvement.  But it is not enough because America needs to be as committed to the “long game” as Xi and China are.  Xi’s commitment on the trade surplus is really a throwaway to quell a temporary political problem.  An increase in soybean exports to China may help red state farmers but it is not a “long game” solution which must involve protecting “intellectual property.” 

China obviously considers the 21^st century to be “China’s century” just as the 20^th century was the “American century.”  The Beijing Review reflects official Chinese policy and stated (1/28/19) that “China and the U.S. are the world’s chief political and economic actors.” The European Union doesn’t even merit a mention much less India or Japan.

The United States manufacturing base was decimated over the last 40 years, leaving many hollowed out American communities.  But, the economy also created different types of jobs. Microsoft, Apple, Google, Dell, Amazon and countless others did not even exist when the outflow of jobs from the apparel industry started.  Hence the current concern over China stealing “intellectual property” is real and needs to be rectified.

Trump has neither the discipline nor attention span to solve the “China” problem.  He will be on to the next “tweet” and taken to the cleaners by the Chinese in the “long game.” However, other Americans can and will take up the Trump slack.

The United States Government needs to do two things to remain in the “long game”:  (1) restore a semblance of proper trade balances and, more importantly, (2) encourage and protect the biotechnology, artificial intelligence and computer economy where America excels.

As to the job of the present and future, America has three assets that will allow it to stay in the “long game.”  Two reside in our present educational system. 

First, America has world class colleges and universities aided by Federal research funding.  Second, elementary and secondary school teachers started – many years ago – to emphasize STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) education efforts.

Third, hardwired in the American culture is an entrepreneurial ethos which starts trillion dollar companies in garages and dorm rooms.  In America millions of “nobodies” believe they can be “somebodies.”

My bet is that the state run “command economy” of China will falter and the entrepreneurial economy will survive and create meaningful jobs for the grandchildren of American textile workers.

Will everything then be “hunky doory”?  No, but at least some relief may be in sight for the American middle class.