This quote is from the revolutionary, “Dick the Butcher” in Shakespeare’s Henry VI. Apologists for lawyers insist that Dick disliked lawyers because they insured the rule of law which Dick wanted to abolish. Most commentators say that Dick thought that lawyers insured the triumph of the rich over the poor.
Current opinions about lawyers have not changed much. Google the term “lawyer jokes” and you will get many including the following:
Q: What do you call 25 lawyers buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Some lawyers do truly admirable work such as freeing the innocent from wrongful imprisonment. Most lawyers are like white collar plumbers in that they keep all sorts of legal matters flowing properly. Then there are the “TV lawyers”, aka, ambulance chasers. Many of them are members of the American Association for Justice (formerly known as the American Trial Lawyers Association). I am sure that many of you, like me, immediately think of the word “justice” each time you see one of these lawyers making their televised pitch!
There are often complaints about fees charged. Tone deaf lawyers, in turn, complain about their plumber’s rates because of the lack of formal schooling, ungrateful that the toilet now works.
Any reader of a national publication regularly sees “Legal Notices” such as appeared in a February 2019 issue of Time magazine. That notice provided: “If you purchased Asahi-brand beer between April 5, 2013 and December 20, 2018, you could be eligible for a payment from a class action settlement.”
The gist of this lawsuit is that the beer in question was advertised as being brewed in Japan when, in fact, some of the beer was brewed in Canada.
If you purchased the Canadian brewed beer, you are entitled to up to $10 per household. In order to make a claim, you must file a claim form by May 3, 2019. Actual payment will be based on the type and quantity of the Asahi beer purchased ($0.10 per big bottle, $0.50 per six pack, $1.00 per 12 pack and $2.00 per 24 pack).
And how does one “prove” the purchase of Ashai beer from Canada in the last five years? And assuming one could prove the purchase, your total reward would be no more than $10.
So you ask ‒ what kind of nonsense is this? The defrauded “beer drinker” may receive up to $10 but the attorneys who brought this lawsuit are asking for fees and expenses of $765,000. Moreover the Settlement Administrator who will sort through the claims will receive up to $300,000 in fees and expenses. Could it be that the lawyers and the Settlement Administrator have been through this exercise before?
Did the Canadian beer taste better or worse and really does it matter at all? Chuck Thompson, the now deceased radio voice of the Baltimore Orioles, used to say after each victory “Ain’t the beer cold!” The real question here is not whether the Canadian beer was “cold” but why a court is entertaining such claims and rewarding the lawyers bringing them.
If you are an Asahi beer drinker, time to order more cement.
Jay, I could not agree with you more though I have know many fine lawyers whom I have had great admiration for. There are two things that could be done to help solve this problem. The first and least likely to happen, would be to reverse the decision that allowed lawyers to advertise. I suppose the decision that allowed this is based on free speech but some of the ads are no better than screaming “FIRE” in a crowded theater. The other more possible improvement, but also unlikely, would be to change what qualified for “class action” status or at least class action across multiple states. As in your example above you don’t even have to know you have been injured to be a winner. This would require our Congress to actually do something though and that is very unlikely. In the end it is simply too easy for individuals and lawyers to bring actions and very little consequence if the ultimately lose. A lot of the blame for our legal systems failings are the judges who could put an end to a lot of this nonsense but after all are just lawyers in black robes.
Jay, I usually hear about the trial lawyers in two contexts: on the positive side, John W., our classmate, is a proud, active member of the group and, second, on the critical side, in the context of tort reform. I hope lawyer readers of your blog will weigh in on damage awards such as settlements of various incidents, including wrongful death at the hands of police and unexpected outcomes from medical procedures..
My take on Lawyers is that they are like most professions that make a lot of money. Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Pro Sports, Actors, Corporate Execs and small business owners etc. Each group has their stars, average group and their crooks. In the business arena much is based on supply and demand. Sports figures make a lot, because they make more for their owners. Small businesses who survive or not are based on profits. The medical group falls in two categories. Doctors who can, bill the Government and private insurance and the ones who can’t (Dentists etc.). In each category I have known stars and crooks. But the majority of people in each category are in the average group and are honest and hard working. The problem is that the crooks and stars make up more than 50% of the total $ volume in each category. So if the stars contribute 50% of that latter group, 25 % of the $ volume in all groups are run by crooks. This puts pressure on society to correct. Most of this is caused by greed. These crooks for the most part are well educated, have a high IQ and are looked on by society as upstanding, until the get caught. We all have heard stories of MDs and Dentists that have defrauded insurance companies and Medicare/Medicaid. Those Corp Execs that have done insider trading. CEOs in small businesses that don’t pay worker’s comp., Social Security, and Medicare for their employees, after they have taken it out of employee paychecks. Sports and actor figures that don’t pay taxes or bet on the games they are in. In all cases you ask WHY. These people seem to have plenty, but want more. In many cases, because of deductions, they give a boatload to charities (as opposed to the Government). I forgot to mention highly paid Government people. Most of the past Governors of IL are in jail and every quarter some Senator or Congressman or women is in the news involved in some sleazy deal. Again you ask WHY. I think our Mom’s summed it up best. When you are starting to act like the kids I didn’t want you hanging out with, we have a problem. At an early age Right and Wrong has to be instilled in us by SOMEONE. That SOMEONE can be almost anyone. A Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Grandma, Grandpa, good Friend, Mentor, Priest, Minister, etc. So if you can’t think of SOMEONE in your life who was that SOMEONE you are probably in the 25% of crooks group that causes so much heartache in the world today. Lawyers cause only a limited part of that pain. So if you have a SOMEONE in your life you will most likely make a great contribution to society in whatever you want to do. That SOMEONE can make you happy and even more fantastic, if it is JESUS. I hope no one is offended.
Cheers